.: I am :.

    The very first thing you will notice about me is that i am a FREAK. I am the person who just hates eveything and everyone around. The only thing i love is HATRED. I just love to HATE and to be HATED.

.: Recent Posts :.

    Bones and blood lie on the ground, Rotten limbs lie dead, Decapitated bodies found On my wall, your head!
    Modulistic terror, A vast sadistic feast, No emotion, Your flesh is all I need
    You have no choice of life or death My face you will not see, I'll rip your flesh 'till there's no breath, Dismembered destiny, As soon as life has left your corpse. I'll make you part of me

.: More me :.

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September 18, 2007

Why do i write here? Well, the answer is simple. I write here coz i always have had problems expressin myself to someone.

Or may be i write here coz i dont want that person to know that i m writing this because of him/her. Though, i will admit that all of my previous posts, with few exceptions, were related to me only and not to anyone else.

May be, someone has caused me to write this, but still, again, the reason for this post is me only.

i m feelin somethin different, something strange these days. i have the feelin that i know why its happenin to me, but i dont want this to go on, coz i know in the end it will be me who is HURT.

i m not sure if i want others to know the reason for this and even if i want, i know i wont be able to express myself.

So, lets make it simple to avoid any confusions around.

i think my preferences are being changed, i think that i am being transformed into a normal person and that’s what causin me problem now coz i always have loved my abnormal behaviour, i always have loved my days of miseries and i always have loved my pains.

Or again is it the same thing that i posted long back about ‘Happiness, Misery, Sanity’.

Yes, its gotta be the same. i know what’s going on now. i will have a short period of me living a normal happy life and after that my life will knock me down again. My life will make me understand not to rise and stay in the gutter where i always have been. My life will kick me hard on my face, to leave me to bleed profusely, and then i will enjoy my NORMAL life of being ABNORMAL, living happily ever after or …


  • Comment by Naveen — September 18, 2007 @ 9:55 am

    Well, Normal - Abnormal.

    When you talk and people listening to you “do” understand you < <--- That's being normal.

    When you talk to people and they “do not” understand you < <-- that's being abnormal. btw why can't we say it "unnormal" -- Poor English!

    Your post is something which only “you” can understand, that is because you are talking about something you want people to know given that you do not want to disclose what it is! That’s strange.

    I liked the fonts :)

  • Comment by inlivenout — September 18, 2007 @ 10:59 am

    I detest your template. I think you write crap. But there is one thing quite intriguing about this blog - it so beautifully disguises the truth. God damn me for clicking the link on Papa Roach’s sidebar!

  • Comment by Fonceur — September 18, 2007 @ 5:09 pm

    I don’t know what your problem is but i can say this one thing “Life is the way you see it”.

  • Comment by freak — September 19, 2007 @ 12:17 am

    @naveen well regarding fonts i do not know, that’s accidental

    @inlivenout yes, its true that u may find my writing as crap, but this is what i am, i really hate everyone, i really hate this life. I am not sure if i will ever change, but you can try if u want :) … btw which papa roach link u are talkin abt? .. and i will love to know who are you

    @fonceur wudnt it be great if u let me know who are you?

  • Comment by Pratosh Dwivedi — September 19, 2007 @ 9:08 am

    Look … you blog is getting hits thru mine :P

  • Comment by inlivenout — September 19, 2007 @ 6:18 pm

    You too here? I think both of us should hire a mercenary to finish off ‘papa roach’ ;) what say??

    Papa Roach,
    The mercenary is on his way. Beware :D

    As to the above comments to Fonceur and PR - jus kidding.
    Hmm… there are two ways to live -good and bad. Anything in the middle is evil. Though I do believe that people change not just by themselves but by an outer element, I am not sure if it would be of help in your case. It takes a millisecond to change provided you are ‘open’ to the idea.
    As to my identity, I am a friend of Fonceur who in turn is a good friend of Pratosh.

  • Comment by freak — September 19, 2007 @ 11:47 pm

    @inlivenout hmmm, and PR told me he does not know you at all

  • Comment by Hema — September 19, 2007 @ 11:58 pm

    He must be knowing me now.

  • Comment by freak — September 20, 2007 @ 12:01 am

    @hema now are you inlivenout? i m really confused

  • Comment by Hema — September 20, 2007 @ 12:04 am

    Papa Roach,
    If Fonceur hadn’t told you, my blogger name is ‘inlivenout’ and I used to blog but stopped sometime back.

    Yes, I am. And no confusion, one is my blogger profile and the other is gmail profile.

  • Comment by freak — September 20, 2007 @ 12:07 am

    @Hema: well, try google search for ur blogger id then, too many results, are those all posts by you only ??

  • Comment by Hema — September 20, 2007 @ 12:15 am

    Uh! Google is quite good at it! All of them are my comments(not posts) left in other blogs. Since I have deleted my blog, it is missing from the cache.

  • Comment by Fonceur — September 21, 2007 @ 7:30 pm


    What is happening?

    Did i miss something ;)

    Thanks for your comments you passed to PR about my blog. Please leave your comments in my blog so that it becomes part of the history :)

    I don’t think you need any more of my introduction. Thanks to Inlive. :-\


    I don’t think mercenary is needed. He is soon going die from my hands.

    Papa (Pinochio) Roach,

    Next time you tell a lie make sure that you hide your nose.

  • Comment by inlivenout — September 22, 2007 @ 1:59 pm

    He said ‘good’ comments about YOUR blog?? God save the world! :D

    PS 1: And yeah you did miss something. Do a google search on ILO and click the 9th link on the first page. Hehe, no the tension the, it says “Mundane Philosophy”. There is a concept called ‘Tagging’ in blogosphere. In that link, Zero would’ve explained clearly what it is and he would’ve tagged me. It is a stupid kiddish thing but quite a lot of fun. I am planning to tag you, PR and freak.

    I am supposed to say the reasons.

    You - I am tagging you with all hopes that you say something about that ‘political’ past of yours :-?

    PR - Coz I know nothing about him :-|

    Freak - Coz for once I want him to write something ’sensible’ in this blog.

    PS 2: Sorry for the essay in the name of a ‘comment’.

    PS 3: Guys, carry the tag along in your respective blogs.[uh! provided you choose to :-O]

  • Comment by freak — September 29, 2007 @ 11:10 am

    @inlivenout it will be nice if u explain the whole procedure of “tagging” stuff.

    i do not know what i have to do but i am a registered user at technorati. Does that help?

  • Comment by inlivenout — September 29, 2007 @ 11:35 am

    It is actually quite simple. Technorati has got nothing to do with it.

    –>Players start with 5 random facts about themselves. The random facts must be both deeply philosophical and flatly ludicrous at once. (As a leeway, what the player says need not be random or factual as such.)
    –>Those who are tagged must behave like nice people. They should post these rules, modifying them suitably if necessary, and their 5 random facts. They must not think of this as a teenager’s activity. Life’s all about such innocent fun (even if you’re in your late-20s, obsessed with more important things like the original identities of bloggers and blog-commenters, or in 30s and completely bald).
    –>Players should tag 3 other people and notify them they have been tagged. (If they don’t feel like doing this, there’s another alternative: they should post 10 random facts instead of 5.)

    These are the 3 basic rules but you can always break them.

    The link http://infinite-circle.blogspot.com/2007/07/tagged.html should help you. I was tagged by someone there and you can see my response in the ‘comments’ area.

  • Comment by freak — October 23, 2007 @ 3:17 pm

    @ILO: did u say that you tagged me??

  • Comment by inlivenout — October 28, 2007 @ 3:25 pm

    Yes, I did.

  • Comment by Shanta Granville — September 30, 2011 @ 9:16 am

    Long foretold, long last; short notice, soon past.

  • Comment by SabinaDop — January 9, 2017 @ 9:33 pm

    film essay


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