.: I am :.

    The very first thing you will notice about me is that i am a FREAK. I am the person who just hates eveything and everyone around. The only thing i love is HATRED. I just love to HATE and to be HATED.

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    Bones and blood lie on the ground, Rotten limbs lie dead, Decapitated bodies found On my wall, your head!
    Modulistic terror, A vast sadistic feast, No emotion, Your flesh is all I need
    You have no choice of life or death My face you will not see, I'll rip your flesh 'till there's no breath, Dismembered destiny, As soon as life has left your corpse. I'll make you part of me

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April 10, 2007

Today, again i am thinking as if i have crossed all the limits of being frustrated. I don’t know what is happening to me but i just don’t like anything and anyone anymore. I don’t want to hang around with people, but, being alone, leads to the sad thoughts that are making me insane.

i feel like i am being betrayed in this life. i don’t know whom do i trust or rather shall i trust anyone? i do not know how to put an end to the bad dreams that i am having or shall i stop dreaming? i do not know how to put an end to what i am suffering from or shall i put and end to me itself?

i really can’t hold on to myself when i am stretched so far, and i am lost within myself and i cant make the right moves. But do i know making the right moves?

i keep on doing my daily things, i keep on meeting people, i keep on doing my work, but in the end i always end up hurting myself. And i want to know, why?

i know i have many questions in my mind, but when i try to find out what these are, i get lost somewhere. I get lost searching for the lost answers for the lost questions that i have. i am being killed by these questions like a cancer, and i feel i will find myself buried with the lost answers. Shall i go and take somebody’s help or shall i help me myself?

But who to go for help as i still have one question left: “do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do i trust nobody and live in loneliness?